but wait, you're not in china yet

OR AM I?
What is this, you ask!? No, it's not the remains of an extinct dinosaur from the Whatthefuckistic period. It's the awesomeness of Black Chicken hitting you in the face.
My grandpa laughs, especially at the burnt Wintermelon and Ham. It is so funny, it doesn't even have soy sauce in it. But wait, there's more! If you join us in the next five minutes we will offer you a free gift-Phoenix Talons! Yes that's right, Phoenix Talons. My mother soaks them in special alcohol she gets...from somewhere.
My cousin 孟凡 invites you to join us next time. We might even throw in a free bowl of rice. Looks tantalizing, doesn't it? Almost like... food.